The reason is that I have bathed my cat at home for years and never found it one bit hard. For example, I can show anyone how to do it. All you need are a few simple directions and you can achieve a clean and happy cat while at the same time keeping sanity for your budget.
Now the first principle for any successful endeavor is preparation. With that in mind, I am giving you a list of materials you will need to get started.
So here's the list:
- pet shampoo
- about 54 old towels
- doctor's appointment card with phone number (or you can use emergency room of nearest hospital)
- blow dryer with silencer for blow dryer
- tranquilizer (for cat-bather)
- one jumbo-size tube antibiotic ointment (also for bather)
- video cam with removable cassette for evidence when doctor reports possible spousal abuse case due to multiple lacerations covering entire body od cat-bather
- pitcher for rinsing cat
- chain-mail body armor from local museum, if available (or if not , elbow-length gloves by Playtex will suffice - heavy duty)
- flashlight
- ladder
Now that you have everythign you need, you are ready for the actual step-by-step bathing procedure.
- Collect all suggested items at kitchen sink
- Go and look for cat
- Next day persevere in looking for cat
- Place stopper in sink and fill to about 2/3 shy of top with warm water
- Go and look for cat
- Let some of the water out of sink and replace stopper, then run more warm water into sink
- Go and look for cat
- Place cat on folded towel near sink
- Remover cat from front of shirt being careful not to snag shirt
- Place cat on towel
- Remove cat from window curtain being careful not to snag curtain fabric
- Continue to remove cat from curtain
- Detach curtain from rod and place everything including cat on bed
- Detach cat from curtain and bedspread
- Dispose of curtain of curtain and bedspread
- Place cat on towel
- While supporting cat's body with left arm, grasp hind legs in right had and slowly lower cat into water
- Remove cat from left arm being careful not to snag skin of arm
- Using same method as before attempt once more to lower cat into water
- Remove cat from head being careful not to snag hair
- Add more warm water to sink
- Go and look for cat
- Place cat on clean towel near sink, being careful not to lower cat into water
- Place left hand on cat's back and gently but firmly apply pressure
- Being careful not to take eyes off cat, feel for shampoo bottle with right hand
- Clean up spilled shampoo, also with right hand
- Remove cat from back of shirt and place on towel
- Drain all water from sink and refill
- Go and look for cat
- Place cat on towel
- Hiding shampoo behind back, pour small dab onto palm of hand
- Fool cat into thinking you are giving it a pet massage
- Go and look for cat
- Place cat in shower stall and close door
- Fetch ladder from garage (I told you you were going to need ladder but you didn't believe me, did you?)
- Lean ladder against glass shower door; climb ladder
- Attempt to remove cat from fixture on ceiling
- Change clothing
- Call repairman to see when he can fix shower door
- Being careful not to go look for cat, notice time
- Begin dinner preparation
Over dinner casually bring up subject of adding pet-groomere's fee to budget
